"Trust in the Lord with all your heart: do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take." Proverbs 3:5-6
Waking up once again with a heavy heart full of sadness and fear, it was hard to believe my life was so different now. I no longer felt secure in my surroundings as I was embarrassed to expose myself in public with the assumption that everyone knew I was losing my home due to my husband’s job loss. With all three of my children under 8 years old, I had a hard time accepting the financial struggle and not being able to provide for their extra activities of dance, theatre, and sports. But, even more troublesome was trying to put food on the table or knowing that uprooting the three of them was inevitably coming.
A friend invited me to a neighborhood moms and kids Valentine’s Day party. I hesitantly agreed, knowing my fragile condition. It didn’t take long before my phony mask of happiness began to transform into jealousy from their Pinterest perfect doorway. As I worked my way through the kitchen, my kids made a beeline to the garage following the other kids. Surface conversations flew through the air, until one lady began to expose what I was trying to conceal. She mentioned, “I heard you were moving?” Right then a flood of embarrassment and shame overwhelmed my soul. It wasn’t a choice to move, we were being forced to move, and my heart was breaking inside like the smile I was trying so hard to fake in front of my peers. Within a split second, I felt a tap on my arm from my eight year old son. He had a beaming smile on his face as he gave me his etched artwork that he’d been working on since we arrived. It was a cut-out heart that had the scripture, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you what path to take.” Proverbs 3:5-6
With immediacy my soul began to fill up with God’s love and peace. Instead of wallowing in that self-pity and the superficial exterior, I immediately began to focus on what was eternal. God used my son as a messenger to show me He is trustworthy, and He not only knows my path but my children’s as well.
Afterwards, I let my son know that God had used Him in a mighty way and he told me, “Mommy, I thought God was telling me you needed that heart.” You know, now that my children are much older, that moment was pivotal in a heart commitment I keep to this day. I always pray this with my children, as God used that day to show me that He speaks to them, too.
Let us moms be able to see God through the faces of our children as living vessels of His love and joy. They may have a word for us moms to transform our day as they are never too young to talk to God or hear from Him. Sometimes we get lost in the vision of circumstance and forget to trust God for His provision. The simple faith of our children can draw us back to our faith - childlike faith.
Thank you God for leading me to trust in your ways and not in my own understanding. You see the big picture of my life, as well as my children’s. Let me see your path for me through my children’s prayers and actions, Amen.