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Messing Up My Kids

Updated: Oct 16, 2023

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.”

Romans 8:28

For as long as I can remember, my biggest fear for my littles was not sickness, or car accidents, or kidnappings - my biggest fear was that I was messing up my kids. Whether it was that I was not doing enough, doing the wrong thing, or maybe even doing too much, the fear that I was raising them all wrong and permanently damaging them, hung over me like a dark cloud.

Are my mistakes something that will cost my children? Will yelling at them cause them to miss learning patience? Am I doing enough to teach them about God, cooking, dressing, loving, sharing, or the million different things they need? Am I truly demonstrating the love and the relationship they need from me? It is easy to compare and condemn ourselves especially when it comes to something so important as raising our child(ren).

Staring at my ceiling in bed one night, running through all these things in my head, the Holy Spirit brought this verse to my remembrance. “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” Rom 8:28. Tentatively, I asked, “God does that mean You will even take my mistakes and make them into something good for my kids?” Do we dare believe that our shortcomings have the possibility to bring good fruit into our children's’ lives?

Now I am not one to push for greasy grace, and I think most of us can agree that being a mom is a continual learning and growing process, but I can’t help but wonder the difference it would make if we believed God’s promise that no matter what mistakes we make, He will cause it to to become good in our children's’ lives. What would that belief free you up to do? When we dare to believe that God will bear good fruit in our children despite our shortcomings, it enables us to parent with the grace and joy God intended. This can radically change what we think about ourselves, our God, and our child(ren). Ask yourself: Could you let this truth grab you by the hand and lead you into parenting from His freedom and away from parenting out of fear?

I am still in awe of our Almighty God and the responsibility He has given me to raise and teach my children. But, I no longer fear that the outcome is solely dependent on me or my perfection as a mom. God is ABLE to turn mistakes and weaknesses into something so very good for us, our littles and, ultimately, His Kingdom.

Lord Jesus, we choose to believe Your Word. We declare that You take everything, and with Your mighty power and wisdom, make it into something good. We thank You that we can trust You with our parenting and with our children. You are worthy of all praise and honor and glory. In Jesus’s precious name we pray. Amen.

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